MC Lars

The Green Christmas EP

Global Warming had wiped out the endangered field mouse

The stockings were hung by the big solar panels

While Timmy was watching the Planet Green Channel

It told him the ice Burgs were melting away

And Frosty was having a very bad day

The North Pole was boiling and Santa was blue

The elves now made toys with reindeer hoof glue

On the AstroTurf arose such a clatter

I sprang from the futon to see what was the matter.

When, what to my curious eyes should appear,

But Santa in a Prius pulled by flying reindeer,

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! It's time to conserve!

On, Comet! On Cupid! We've got to preserve!

From the triple pained windows to the top of the wall!

Sustainable, sustainable, sustainable, y'all!"

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

One day there could be no more snow

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Self-sustaining as my gift list grows

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Not Santa surfing at the North Pole

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

And then Santa came into my house,

and he's like "I'm coming through the front door."

And I'm like "why?",

and he's like, "you don't have a chimney."

I said, "Burning carbon is bad."

Santa was dressed in organic cotton from his head to his feet

His red jacket was recycled, his Birkenstocks were sweet

A bundle of toys he had slung on his back

in a Nob Hill recycled tote bag sack

The ozone was depleting and the climate change was scary

But Santa's eyes were focused on still making Christmas merry

He brought me some rocks and a solar powered Wii

What was once a white beard was now a goatee

He rocked Aviators and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed like a bowl of organic jelly

He spoke not a word, but flashed me a smirk

He said, "I'm mad green", and went straight to work

While Rudolph recharged his solar-powered nose

He used recycled wrapping paper that's how conservation goes

But I heard Santa exclaim as he drove out of sight,

"A Green Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

One day there could be no more snow

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Self-sustaining as my gift list grows

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Not Santa surfing at the North Pole

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Santa gave to me the following things:

Twelve solar fans

Eleven Britta filters

Ten red Sigg bottles

Nine bins for recycling

Eight compact light bulbs

Seven striped hemp beanies

Six recycled ornaments

Five books by Heinberg

Four bamboo bookshelves

Three million soybeans

Two low flow toilets

And One An Inconvenient Truth DVD

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

One day there could be no more snow

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Self-sustaining as my gift list grows

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

Not Santa surfing at the North Pole

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas

In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy Kwanza! Happy Hanukah!

We're so inclusive! We're so politically correct!

We're keeping it real because it's Christmas.

All right kids.

This year for Christmas, don't ask for toys,

ask your parents to donate a cow to starving families in Africa.

Be a good person!

Don't give me the mic, I get nutty.