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Archive for Oglio Records

Releases on the Oglio Records label.

Eban Schletter

Cosmic Christmas

 

4 panel_eps

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"What will become of Christmas?" That is the question posed by film/TV composer, Eban Schletter, on his latest concept album, Eban Schletter’s Cosmic Christmas. In this yuletide odyssey, veterans of his acclaimed Witching Hour project perform Christmas classics and original songs. A storyline worthy of The Twilight Zone tells of a drifting military satellite, which encounters a mysterious series of signals, forcing the on-board computer to question all it was created to do.

The odd combination of Theremin and vibes interpreting timeless melodies serves as the musical spine of Eban Schletter's Cosmic Christmas, but from there, a variety of styles and sounds coalesce into a greater whole. Layers of piano drift like stardust though the Vince Guaraldi classic "Christmas Time Is Here"; pulsing rhythms jettison a heroic "We Three Kings"; and "Silent Night" rises from a swirl of music boxes and keyboard oscillations. Joyous harmonies adorn original songs like "Send Christmas Into The Universe". Grant-Lee Phillips turns in a stellar vocal in "What Will Become Of Christmas?"

In all, it is a sonic feast and a fun, while poetic, meditation on what Christmas means in light of the direction our world seems to be heading.

Track Listing

01. Countdown (0:40)

02. Send Christmas Into The Universe

Featuring Crissy Guerrero & Tracy DeNisi (4:20)

03. Christmas Time Is Here (3:45)

04. We Three Kings (4:58)

05. Space Baby One (0:24)

06. Computers - Part 1 (1:45)

07. Super Small (4:40)

08. Space Baby Two (0:22)

09. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear (3:45)

10. Who Is The Man With All The Toys? (0:26)

11. Carol Of The Bells (2:06)

12. Computers - Part 2 (2:05)

13. What Will Become Of Christmas?

Featuring Grant Lee Phillips (5:51)

14. Silent Night (5:07)

15. Computers - Part 3 (3:03)

16. Auld Lang Syne (2:12)

Witching Hour

 

Schletter-Witching_500

EBAN SCHLETTER TO BRING HIS “WITCHING HOUR” TO OGLIO RECORDS

Oglio Records has signed a deal that will bring Halloween back to the Witches. No, it is not a deal with the devil, it is with Eban Schletter, a prolific composer/songwriter for a September 30th release of his “Eban Schletter’s Witching Hour” project. For his “Witching Hour”, Schletter recruited many of his talented friends to perform a colorful array of creepy delights in what he calls “an art record in a children’s Halloween costume.” Including the obvious appropriateness for the timing of this release, he admits, “I made a point to avoid directly referring to Halloween. I wanted to do something that would work for full moons and solstices as well.”

Songs like “I’ve Created A Monster” pay a nod to Bobby “Boris” Pickett’s classic “Monster Mash”, the Theremin adorned “Incantation” and sinister “Half Past” (chiming exactly 30 minutes into the meticulously timed hour long record) display a musicality that seems to echo ghosts of songsmiths past. Independent sweetheart Jill Sobule singing “The Legend Of Lagunaloch Lake” and “Some Things To Know About Monsters” is genuinely haunting, as is Grant-Lee Phillips’ performance of the Brechtean “Forever Lurking”.

Humor is the record’s most potent potion thanks to Schletter’s long list of friends with stellar performances by Dave Foley (Kids In The Hall, News Radio), Tom Kenny (the voice of Spongebob Squarepants), Paul F. Tompkins (Best Week Ever, Mr. Show with Bob and David), Scott Aukerman (Mr. Show with Bob and David, The Sarah Silverman Program) as well as Freaks and Geeks alums Samm Levine and Dave (Gruber) Allen (The Naked Trucker, Gilmore Girls).

A coven of witches voiced by Crissy Guerrero (Mind Of Mencia, Ellen: The Musical), Laura Milligan (Tenacious D, Mr. Show), Tracy DeNisi (SpongeBob Squarepants, Ellen: The Musical) Carla Jimenez (Lady In The Water, Nacho Libre) and Kris McGaha (Curb Your Enthusiasm) provides the album’s through line, and Daamen Krall (The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari, The Nightmare Before Christmas) recites Poe-like passages with all the chills of Vincent Price.

While not a warlock, Eban Schletter is a freak of sorts and approaches his work with the mania of a mad scientist. Eclectic almost to the point of schizophrenia, his previous records have ranged from low-fi Americana to modern classical pipe organ music. But, it is his vast output in television and film that has earned him his living, and accolades including a Cable Ace Award and an Emmy nomination. His composer highlights include Mr. Show with Bob and DavidSpongeBob Squarepants, Comedy Central’s Drawn Together and Ellen: The Musical. His film credits include the recent remake of The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and many independent films.

Track Listing

1. Clock Strikes Midnight (featuring Kris McGaha)

2. Witching Hour

3. Incantation (eaturing Kris McGaha)

4. Invitation

5. Ghoul Bash (featuring Dave "Gruber" Allen)

6. Dance of the Skeletons

7. Devil Doll (featuring Paul F Tompkins)

8. Ride Chariot Ride (featuring Daamen Krall)

9. Some Things To Know About Monsters (featuring Jill Sobule)

10. Curse of the Crooked Carousel

11. Forever Lurking (featuring Grant-Lee Phillips)

12. Half Past

13. Track 13

14. Bleh (featuring Samm Levine)

15. Zombie Man

16. The Legend of Lagunaloch Lake (featuring Jill Sobule)

17. I've Created A Monster (featuring Scott Aukerman)

18. Haunted Carnival (featuring Tom Kenny)

19. The Headless Hitchhiker of Highway 13 (featuring Dave Foley)

20. Happy Haunting Hosts

21. The Warlock's Lullaby (featuring Daamen Krall)

22. Clock Strikes One (featuring Kris McGaha)

PAUL F. TOMPKINS AUDIO COMMERCIAL 2009 (Free Download)

Witching Hour & Paul F Tompkins (2009 Commercial) by ogliorecords

VERNON WELLS AUDIO COMMERCIAL 2008 (Free Download)

Eban Schletter's Witching Hour commercial - Narration by Vernon Wells by ogliorecords

 

 

Jingle Bells – Swingin’ Barnyard Christmas

What do you get when you combine the talents of "Fido's Alpine Polka Band", "The Monkey House Yuletide Choir", "The Electric Sheep" and "Duck Ellington?" You get more jingle bells than you can fit in Santa's stocking!

Tracks:

  • Jingle Bells - Chicken Feed Bluegrass
  • Jingle Bells - Fido's Alpine Polka Band
    Jingle Bells - Cordelia The Cat
  • Jingle Bells - Duck Ellington
  • Jingle Bells - Dobbins Equestrian Orchestra
    Jingle Bells - Porkchops And Applesauce
  • Jingle Bells - Froggy's Christmas Crooning
  • Jingle Bells - The Monkey House Yuletide Choir
  • Jingle Bells - The Moo-Tones
  • Jingle Bells - The Gobbler's Five
  • Jingle Bells - Electric Sheep
  • Jingle Bells - The Swingin' Barnyard Christmas Extravaganza

Robby Glantz “Secrets of Hockey Speed” DVD Series

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From North America to Europe, Robby Glantz continues to be hockey’s most requested skating instructor. His innovative methods for teaching the foundations for speed are used by players at all levels— from youth hockey to the pros. Now these same techniques are available to you in Secrets of Hockey Speed Volume 1…the first video to truly detail the step-by-step methods that will generate top speed. And with demonstrations from NHL stars Steve Duchesne and Tony Granato, easy-to-grasp terminology, and creative camera angles, you are sure to learn what it takes to attain that extra step you have always been looking for. Here are just a few highlights:

The How-to Guide for Faster Skating, Part 1

  • Breakdown of all stride techniques
  • Backwards skating movement
  • How to increase your stride
  • Acceleration while turning
  • Edgework and counterbalancing
  • Explode in your starts
  • Plus, much more!M

Robby Glantz conducts hockey schools throughout North America and Europe. Pro teams he has worked with include the NHL’s Los Angeles Kings and Atlanta Thrashers, Malmo weden, Berlin Preussen, as well as the German National Teams:

Robby Glants "Secrets of Hockey Speed" Vol 2 DVD

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From North America to Europe, Robby Glantz continues to be hockey's most requested skating instructor. His innovative methods for teaching the foundations of speed, power and balance are used by players of all levels, from youth hockey to pro. Robby's professional credits include: Power Skating Coach for the NHL's Los Angeles Kings and Atlanta Thrashers, Malmo Sweden, Berlin Preussen and the German National Teams. As well, Robby and Staff put on almost 200 Power Skating and Stickhandling/ Checking Programs each year. His first instructional video, Volume 1, has been the must have source for better skating.

With the same innovative techniques, easy to understand teaching terminology and creative camera angles, Volume 2 picks up where Volume 1 left off. From there however, Volume 2 concentrates on showing skating techniques not covered in Volume 1, including: Speed with 1 and 2 hands on the stick, Lateral Mobility, Pivot Stops, Quick Feet, Edgework and much more... And Volume 2 will show you how to skate faster with the puck on your stick, including: Breakaway Speed, Change of Direction, Power Moves, Puck Protection and Stickhandling. With Volume 2, you are sure to learn what it takes to get your skating to a new level. Here are just a few highlight:

THE HOW-TO GUIDE FOR FASTER SKATING, PART 2

  • Advanced Techniques and Drills
  • 1 & 2 Hands on Stick
  • Backward Skating Techniques
  • Forward and Backward Stops
  • Gretzky-type Tight Turns
  • Quick Feet & Edge Drills
  • Breakaway Speed with the Puck
  • Power Moves
  • Puck Protection
  • Stickhandling
  • And More!
  • Roger Alan Wade – All Likkered Up

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    Roger Alan Wade is a country western singer/songwriter with over 20 years in the business. He has written for the likes of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and George Jones. Hell, he even has a couple of gold records and a #1 song with Hank Williams Jr.’s “Country State of Mind,” to show for it. His “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough” song ended up on the Jackass soundtrack and became the unofficial theme of the movie.

    Roger gained national attention when his first cousin, the actor Johnny Knoxville sent some songs he recorded in Knoxville’s living room to Howard Stern. Stern liked them so much he invited Roger to New York to perform live in the studio. The response was so great, the cousins decided to make an album and “All Likkered Up” is the debut release from the new alliance between Oglio Entertainment and Johnny Knoxville Records.

    Track Listing

    1)  Butt Ugly Slut
    2)  Gone Back To Whoring
    3)  My Baby Loves Malt Liquor
    4)  Pointing
    5)  Sweet Wine Of Sorrow
    6)  All Likkered Up
    7)  If You're Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough
    8)  Chicken Song
    9)  She's A Baby When She Cries
    10) Fryin' Bacon Nekkid
    11) Horse I Wanna Ride
    12) Counterman
    13) Johnny Cash Has Died
    14) BB Gun
    15) Put Another Log On The Fire
    Bonus tracks:
    16) Butt Ugly Slut
    17) All Likkered Up (Demo)
    18) Knoxville Girl

    +++

    Roger Alan Wade

    "All Likkered Up"

    "You just give him a couple of fifths of Crown Royal, a pack of smokes and a case of beer, put him in front of a four track, and get out of the way."
    -Johnny Knoxville on recording his cousin Roger Alan Wade on Wade's debut album "All Likkered Up."-

    Roger Alan Wade is a country western singer and songwriter with over 20 years in the business. He has written for the likes of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Jr, and George Jones. Hell, he even has a couple of gold records to show for it. (Actually, that's all he has to show for it, because what the ex-wives didn't take, the IRS did).

    He got his first taste of the national attention when his first cousin, the actor Johnny Knoxville (Jackass, Dukes of Hazard Summer 2005) sent some songs Wade recorded in Knoxville's living room to Howard Stern. Stern liked the songs so much he started playing them on the air. Howard even invited Roger to New York to perform such classic hits as Butt Ugly Slut, Poontang, and Gone Back To Whorin' live in the studio on the Howard Stern Show. Rog's music and between song banter of bullshit was a hit with Stern and his audience to say the least. That is when Oglio records first took notice.

    Born in Knoxville, he was raised in what Roger describes as "the cultural center of the world," Chattanooga, Tennessee. Wade married at 18, (just like Springsteen said in THE RIVER, "I got my union card and a Wedding Coat") and began his working life as a forklift driver-to this day his favorite profession- later picking up a gig driving a milk truck.

    His life-changing moment- "I went to see Waylon at Memorial Auditorium in Chattanooga and thought it was the coolest thing ever. So, the next day I went out and got a guitar. After that, my career started off slow and then tapered off."

    Knoxville beams, "Rog is one of the most naturally talented people you'll ever meet. Whether it's writing a song or shooting pool, he has a knack for anything he tries. The problem is he doesn't give a shit. Nashville has come calling in the past but they wanted him to wear this or sing like that, and he said "to hell with 'em" and went back to writing his songs and singing in honky tonks. And when he'd come out to LA to visit we would all get real loaded and sit that last som' bitch in front of a four track and let him sing his crazy-ass songs. One of the songs he recorded "If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough" ended up on the Jackass soundtrack and became the unofficial theme of the movie. The other song went to Howard and there was such a great response we decided to make an album."

    Now the self-proclaimed "luckiest cat to ever walk in shoe leather" has a new project. Roger says, "We were at Johnny Knoxville's house in the hills above Hollywood, the circus was in town. Me and Knox had run out of gas on the way to the liquor store earlier, but things were starting to shape up. Sam set up the gear in Knox's livin' room and we started rolling words and chords mixed with stories of sluts, angels, whiskey and heroes, outa tune'n out time. Don't look too deep for meaning. We didn't. Everyone was there and we had a hell of a time."

    Knoxville says "ever since I was little our family wanted Rog to release an album. Rog wanted to as well but he would only do it on his terms. Stubborn ole ass….."

    "I've been trippin' like Dick Van Dyke since I've been 20. Knox believed in me and it seems like we've got a shot now." Hell yea.

    +++

    LYRICS


    1. Butt Ugly Slut (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    Eagle, buzzard, sparrow, crow take me down where the winds don't blow
    I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
    And a jealous old man in jail
    I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
    And so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale
    As long as she buys me a new Zebec
    I don't care if she's built like a blue whale
    I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
    And a jealous old man in jail
    Lord she's igner'nt, but she's ugly
    Yes she's lazy, but she's mean
    I've been to two tent revivals and a chicken fight
    And I ain't never seen nuthin'
    Like when my little wildebeest tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispy Kremes
    I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
    And a jealous old man in jail
    I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
    And so fat she'll knock a train off a rail
    Well I don't care if she cheats on me
    As long she sends me checks in the mail
    I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
    And a jealous old man in jail
    I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
    And a jealous old man in jail
    Wahoo


    2. Gone Back To Whorin' (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    She's a gone back to whorin'
    That's what I heard
    She's somewhere snorin'
    With some ol' rich bird
    You know the things that I gave her
    Musta got kinda borin'
    Last that I heard, she done
    Gone back to whorin'
    She's a gone back to whorin'
    This ain't the first rodeo
    She makin' a fortune
    Screwin' dudes she don't know
    I asked her she told me
    Darlin' It's my job
    Suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
    Suck the corn off a cob
    She done gone back to whorin'
    This ain't her first time
    I got some lovin'
    And I'm down to my last dime
    She look like an angel
    My life's a wreck
    I go from hell straight to heaven
    If she'd take a check
    She's a gone back to whorin'
    She's a good girl
    She got fishnet hose
    Too much jerry curl
    I miss her when I'm lonesome
    When I'm horny real bad
    She ain't to cheap lord
    But she's the best that I've had
    She's a gone back to whorin'


    3. My Baby Loves Malt Liquor (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    Dennis Knutson, Bullís Creek Music, BMI
    My baby...she loves malt liquor
    Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
    Just layin' on that big ass clickin' that clicker lord
    My baby she love malt liquor
    Yeah her ex ol man was guitar picker
    Then lord he likely blew his ticker
    He couldn't keep his frig full of Colt 45
    When the booze ran out she sent him packin'
    When lookin' for a man with corporate backin'
    Fat lip smackin' neath that big beehive
    Yeah she got a pocket book full of cigarettes and Snickers
    She got room on her rump for a big bumper sticker
    I just glad it don't say honk if I'm ugly and fat
    If I had a horn I'd have to blow it
    She'd say kiss my ass and then she'd show it
    I'd rather go blind than look at somethin' like that
    My baby...she loves malt liquor
    Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
    Just layin' on her drunk ass clickin' that clicker lord
    My baby...she loves malt liquor
    Yeah it's been three weeks since she changed them knickers
    All she wants to do is drink and bicker
    Hell I'd just hose her down and she'd just brush her tooth
    She love Bon Bons, Ding Dongs, Birthday cake
    She's a wig wearin' walkin' talkin' big earthquake
    She ran off gnawin' on a Baby Ruth
    My baby...she loves malt liquor
    Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
    Just layin' on her drunk ass clickin' that clicker lord
    My baby... she loves malt liquor
    My baby... she loves malt liquor


    4. Poontang (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout just a little poontang
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
    Id' Like a little one, too
    Mine's As Big As A Hat
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    I took a look, said darlin' is that what ya got
    She said, this ain't orange powder and water and you ain't no astronaut
    This ain't no breakfast drink kinda thing
    You're goin' to the moon real soon with a real poontang
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout just a little poontang
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
    Id' Like a little one, too
    Mine's As Big As A Hat
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    So I said, "Should I ask her?"
    Knoxville says "Hell ya ask her
    So I says "Darlin' can I smell your poontang
    She says "Why no" So I says "it must be your socks"
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout just a little poontang
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
    Id' Like a little one, too
    Mine's As Big As A Hat
    OOO wee you sweet thang
    How 'bout a little poontang
    How 'bout it


    5. Sweet Wine Of Sorrow (Roger Alan Wade, Shandy Dixon, Carol Moore, Pewee Moore , Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    I's standin in the mornin' rain, outside a Norfolk southern yard
    Rollin' dice like a train, the wind was blowin' hard
    I'm down twenty to the devil, hell I hope he'll take a check
    I kiss his ass till I get level, and I'll break his neck
    I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
    I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
    Ah there's things a man can do to himself, where his own parents don't recognize his face
    And there's things he does to everybody else that even true love can't erase
    And you wind up scattered all in pieces spend your life tryin' to understand
    When you figure it out you realize, the selfishness between you and the Promised Land
    I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
    I been cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
    Hallelujah, I'd trade anything I can beg steal or borrow
    I was curst from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
    Now I'm shattered on the sidewalk, like them dishes that they brought
    When you're swollen with my baby and your daddy bought that shot gun n we got caught
    Now there ain't much that matters, to tell the truth I still don't understand
    So I think I'll go down to Madame Moreass's, just pretend you ever gave a damn
    Oh, I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
    I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
    Hallelujah, I'd trade anything I can beg steal or borrow
    I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
    Baby...I was curst from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow


    6. All Likkered Up (Roger Alan Wade, John Richard Wade, Songs Of Chandessica, , Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
    She was all likkered up
    She was all likkered up
    She come home late last night
    She was all likkered up
    She had her red dress tore
    Had her red dress tore
    She come home late last night
    with her red dress tore
    She was all likkered up
    She had her lipstick smeared
    Had her lipstick smeared
    She come home late last night lipstick smeared, and her red dress tore
    She was all likkered up
    High heels in her hands
    High heels in her hands
    Yeah she come home late last night high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, her lipstick smeared, all likkered up
    Had her paycheck blown. Had her paycheck blown.
    Yeah she come home late last night with her paycheck blown
    Her lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, She was all likkered up
    She was doin' the hootchie-cootchie
    She was doin' the hootchie-cootchie.
    Yeah she come home late last night, her paycheck blown, her lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, doin' the hootchie-cootchie
    all likkered up
    She had lovin' on her mind
    She had lovin' on her mind
    She come home late last night with lovin' on her mind, doin' the hootchie-cootchie,
    paycheck blown, lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, red dress tore, and a partridge in a pear tree
    She was all likkered up
    She was all likkered up
    Come home late last night all likkered up
    She was all likkered up
    All likkered up
    She come her big ass home at 4 in the mornin', paycheck blown, lipstick smeared, high heels in her hand, red dress torn a doin' the hootchie-cootchie, fallin' out of a yellow cab
    I said, "where's your big ass been Edna since 4 in the mornin'?"
    She spit popcorn on me and said "Big Lots"
    Some dude rolled outta there and throwed up on my PF Flyers
    Said good to meet ya dude
    I said, "Dude best thing you can do is take your dog and get to the house
    I said "Edna you need to get in there and brush your tooth and get on to work
    You come in her drunk. She says, "I'm not drunk. I've been drinkin' that jaegersmeisters all night but I'm not drunk...brother
    I'm all likkered up
    She's all likkered up
    Oh, baby come home late last night, she was all likkered up
    She's was all likkered up.
    She's all likkered up
    She come home late last night she was all likkered up


    7. If Your Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
    When you get knocked down you gotta get back up,
    I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
    I lit my brain with rotgut whisky
    Till my pain was chicken fried
    I've had dudes with badges frisk me,
    Teach me how to swallow pride
    I took advice no fool would take
    I got some habits, I can't shake
    I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
    When you get knocked down you gotta get back up.
    That's the way it is in life and love
    If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough.
    I've been up and down and down and out
    I've been left and right and wrong
    Will walk the walk and run my mouth
    Been on that short end for to long
    But if they gave metals for honkie tonk wars
    Hell I'd keep mine in my chest o' drawers
    Well my IRS bills and divorce papers and all that stuff
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
    When you get knocked down you gotta get back up.
    I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
    If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough


    8. Chicken Song (Roger Alan Wade, Songs Of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
    A chicken wakes up to a new world every day
    Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-OK
    A chicken don't worry 'bout nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
    And don't worry much about that
    'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
    Aww the weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
    A chicken wakes up to a new world every day
    You reckon a chicken ever finds herself frettin' about getting' old and ugly and fat?
    I know a chicken's kind of dim, but I'm goin' out on a limb and I'd say a chicken is smarter 'an that
    Hell, a chicken's just happy bein' one of them chickens that ain't one of them chickens in every pot
    Ya know a chicken knows half of bein' happy is just bein' happy with whatcha got
    Another half of bein' happy is just bein' happy no matter what
    People, life is short, time's a tickin'
    If you're gonna live like a king you gotta think like a chicken
    Oh, a chicken wakes up to a new world every day
    Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-okay
    A chicken don't worry 'bout nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
    That's eggs AGGGGGS
    And don't worry much about that
    'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
    Aww weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
    A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
    Poor old chicken don't get no respect
    There either swipin' her eggs or fryin' her legs or trying' to wring her neck
    But a chicken understands her position and knows in this current condition it ain't gonna change
    So she made the decision to roost every evenin' in the rusted out chassis of a beat up Chevrolet
    And just wake up to a new world every day... yodalaeee....
    Oh a chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
    Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-OK
    A chicken don't worry 'but nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
    And don't worry much about that
    'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
    Hell the weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
    A chicken wakes up to a new world
    A chicken wakes up to a new world
    A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
    A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
    A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day


    9. She's A Baby When She Cries (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    She's a baby when she cries
    A little girl when she's alone
    She's a lady when she sighs
    She's a woman when she moans
    She's an angel when she comes
    She's a gypsy when she goes
    Oh I tremble when she hums
    Some old song only I know
    She's an angel when she comes
    She's a gypsy when she goes
    Now my heart beats like a drum
    She steps out of her clothes


    10. Fryin' Bacon Nekkid (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
    Dennis Knutson, Seven Angels Music, Songs of Polygram, BMI
    Kostas, Polygram, BMI
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
    Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon naked
    And that's how I feel when you get through with me
    Lord, you think I'd know
    You thin I'd learn
    A man falls in love
    A man's gonna get burned
    But all I ask from you
    Is this solemn pledge
    Oh, you can burn the bacon
    But please don't scorch the sausage
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
    Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon naked
    That's how I feel when you get through with me
    What made God put thorns on a rose
    He got his reasons, I suppose
    Some what makes a woman, what to put her man
    Like cold fat back in a hot frying pan
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
    Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
    Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
    That's how I feel when you get through with me, sweet Louise
    Baby, that's how I feel when you get through with me


    11. Horse I Wanna Ride (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    Dennis Knutson, Knutsongs, BMI
    Yeah lets, lets get this before the wheels fall off
    All right ready, ready
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    With a saddle on his back
    And a bare back heart inside
    He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    There's two kinds of horses in this world
    Cause only one you can trust to leave untied
    Most will bolt like a colt at the first sound of thunder
    There's one that will stand and stare the storm in the eye
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    And That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    With a saddle on his back
    And a bare back heart inside
    He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    There's horses that run to place and show
    There's one horse that runs just to win
    The kind Jesse James would steel for his bride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    And That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
    With a saddle on his back
    And a bare back heart inside
    He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride in my life
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride tonight baby
    That's the kind of horse I wanna ride


    12. Counterman (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
    Dennis Knutson, Major Bob Music, BMI
    Charlie Stefle, Major Bob Music, BMI
    Well I'm a counterman at the auto zone store in Burmingham Alabama
    We got everything from A to Z some miscellaneous and what have ya
    I got the parts to fix all the parts a cars and make them all blow smoke
    But I ain't got the part for the part of my heart that woman of mine just broke
    But I'm a counterman and Isa counting on her just to stay with me the rest of my life
    I's a crazy for wishing that blond beautician would settle down and be my wife
    I'd bet a set a plugs she's powdered up and painted dancing hose in her high heels
    Cause she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile
    I even talked to the fram air filter man about making her miss December
    On the calendar for the customers and distributors and vendors
    Well, my mama said it will probably go to her head and hell I guess my mama was right
    Cause I'm putting cashews in my coat she's at the burgundy room tonight
    Well I'm a counterman and Isa counting on her just to stay with me the rest of my life
    And I's a crazy for wishing that wild beautician would settle down and be my wife
    I'd bet a set a plugs she's powdered up and painted dancing hose in her high heels
    Cause she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile
    Ah she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile


    13. Johnny Cash Has Died (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    It's like this, uh
    Rat poison rains falling downtown
    A devil's whores wearing a red nightgown
    Here I am again in a parking lot just hanging around
    Wasting my life waiting for another deal to go down
    I can hear that train a comin'
    It ain't coming back again
    I can hear the angels humming in that Arkansas wind
    They're coming to carry him off to the other side
    Mama Rosie called Johnny Cash has died
    I can hear that train a comin'
    It ain't coming back again
    I can hear June Carter call
    In that Arkansas wind
    She's waiting there on the other side
    Mama, that was Rosie on the phone
    Mama Johnny Cash has died
    I can hear that train a comin
    It ain't coming back again
    I hear the angels humming in that Arkansas wind
    He's singing Jackson with June again tonight
    Mama wakeup daddy
    Tell him Johnny Cash has died
    It's the first time my daddy ever cried


    14. BB Gun (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    Lay there in the tall grass and laugh at what I'd done
    Put a blood blister upon each bun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    I'd love to rub your toothbrush on a sick monkey's butt
    Give your home phone number to some perverted nut
    Tell everybody what you really weigh and just for fun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come
    Put a blood blister upon each bun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    I'd love to kick your poodle
    I'd love to sling your cat
    Bust your Yanni CD's with a baseball bat
    Send your fat mouth mama sailing like the flying nun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
    Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come
    Put a blood blister upon each bun
    I'd like to pop Sally Field right square in the ass with a red rider BB Gun


    15. Put Another Log On The Fire (Shel Silverstein, Evil Eye Music Inc., BMI)
    Put another log on the fire
    Cook me up some beacon and some beans
    Go out to the car and change the tire
    Worsh my socks and sew my old blue jeans
    Come on baby
    There you can fill my pop and fetch my slippers
    Then boil me up another pot of tea
    Go put another log on the fire
    Then come and tell me why you're leaving me
    Don't I let you worsh my car on Sunday
    Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat
    And I gonna take you fishin someday
    Hell, a man can't love a woman more than that
    Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
    Don't I take her driving every night
    So sit here at my feet
    Cause I love it when you sweep
    You know it ain't feminine to fight
    So, put another log on the fire
    Go cook me up some bacon and some beans
    Go out to the car and change the tire
    Worsh my socks and sew my old blue jeans
    Come on baby
    Oh you can fill my pop and then go fetch my slippers
    And boil me up another pot of tea
    Go put another log on the fire
    Then come and tell me why you're leaving me


    BONUS TRACKS
    16. Butt Ugly Slut (New Version) (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
    17. All Likkered Up (Demo) (Roger Alan Wade, John Richard Wade, Songs Of Chandessica, , Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)


    18. Knoxville Girl
    I met a girl in Knoxville
    A town we all know well
    And every Sunday evening
    Out in her home I'd dwell
    We went to take an evening walk
    About a mile from town
    I picked a stick up off the ground
    And knocked that fat girl down
    She fell down on her bended knees
    For mercy she did cry
    Oh, Willie dear, don't kill me here
    I'm unprepared to die
    She never spoke another word
    I'll only beat her more
    Until the ground around me
    Within her blood did flow
    I took her by her golden curls
    And I drug her 'round and 'round
    Throwed her in the river
    That flows through Knoxville town
    Go down, go down, you Knoxville girl
    With the dark and roving eyes
    Go down, go down, you Knoxville girl
    You can never be my bride
    I started back to Knoxville
    Got there about midnight
    My mother she was worried
    And woke up in a fright
    Saying, "Dear son, what have you done
    To bloody your clothes so?"
    I told my anxious mother
    I was bleeding at the nose
    I called for me a candle
    To light myself to bed
    I called for me a handkerchief
    To bind my achin' head
    Rolled and tumbled the whole night through
    As troubles was for me
    Like flames of hell around my bed
    And in my eyes can see
    They carried me down to Knoxville
    And put me in a cell
    My friends all tried to get me out
    But none could go my bail
    I here to waste my life away
    Down in this dirty old jail
    Because I murdered that Knoxville girl
    The girl I loved so well
    Buy Now!

    Arrogant Worms – Gift Wrapped: The Best Of The Arrogant Worms


    Buy Now!
    The Arrogant Worms are Canada's best known musical comedy act. This "best of" collection, pulled from seven of their previous releases, represents a cross section of their zany wit, original material and their amazingly exuberant energy.

    AllMusicGuide.com album review by Heather Phares

    Gift Wrapped: The Best of the Arrogant Worms celebrates a decade's worth of work from Canada's comedy-folk trio and introduces their work to the United States. The album gathers the highlights from their seven Canadian albums, which skewer pop music ("Celine Dion," "Boy Band"), religion ("Jesus' Brother Bob"), and cultural trends ("A Man Has Needs," "Carrot Juice Is Murder," and "Idiot Road"). Other highlights include "Big Fat Road Manager," "Me Like Hockey," and "Rippy the Gator." Live versions of songs like "Malcolm" and the previously unreleased "Dog Named Bob" and "Song Inside My Head" also make this collection worthwhile for Worms fans who already have all of their albums.

    Gift Wrapped: The Best of the Arrogant Worms

    Track Listing:

    • A Man Has Needs
    • Jesus' Brother Bob
    • Boy Band
    • Malcolm
    • Big Fat Road Manager
    • Carrot Juice Is Murder
    • The Happy Happy Birthday Song
    • Me Like Hockey
    • Idiot Road
    • Christmas Is Almost Here
    • Log In To You
    • I Am Cow
    • Celine Dion
    • Let There Be Guns
    • Rippy The Gator
    • Santa's Gonna Kick your Ass
    • Dog Named Bob (bonus track)
    • Song Inside My Head (bonus track)

     

     

     

    Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling – F Jackie


    Buy Now!

    F. jackie was named long before it was released. After years of even nuns saying that to me, Carl Oglio said, "Why not call the next CD 'F. jackie?' Then every time somebody says it, it'll be promotion."

    Sheer genius. In fact, genius enough that I took credit for it until Carl gently reminded me that it was his idea. I still have never seen the proof. Is he right? Yes. But it's so brilliant, I still require proof.

    This was recorded in 2000. Once again, the real star of the show is the electric crowd at "The Comedy Palace."

    The highlight for me is when a guy yells, "Nice shirt." I had been wearing a silly shirt to bait the crowd for what follows. I had stolen the ridiculous shirt after I wore it in my first film, "Pot Luck." I've worn that shirt for almost every show I've done since.

    The CD is my best, by far. I have the rhythm & editing down to a science. For years I've told everybody, "I love all of my CD's, but you can dance to 'F. jackie.' "

    - Jackie Martling

    F. JACKIE

    Tracks:

    • Shouters & Specials
    • Fixers & Fighters
    • Invaders & Interfectors
    • Knobs & Gnashers
    • Lizards & Loungers
    • Imbibers & Idiots
    • Dooties & Deception
    • Twins & Tainters
    • Coffins & Calculus
    • Strollers & Pushers
    • Curers & Carnivals
    • Smoochers & Smellers
    • Taster & Toters
    • Partners & Posers
    • Travelers & Tubesteaks
    • Boozers & Bungholes
    • Chokers & Chewers
    • Sharers & Soloists
    • Handicapped & Halitosis, The
    • Cornholers & Confederates
    • Filchers & Fetchers
    • Taverns & Transplants
    • Dunkers & Delicacies
    • Donors & Disgust

    Buy Now!

    Henry Phillips – On The Shoulders of Freaks | Number 2


    Buy Now!

    Always the kid in school who would just as soon lose his lunch as give a speech in front of the class, HENRY PHILLIPS is making up for his childhood insecurities with his hilariously cynical take on our bizarre world. Combining lighthearted pop culture and social observation with taboo-smashing refrains, political jibes and innocent melodies that smack of cool sincerity, the native New Yorker is poised to become the Tom Lehrer of his generation.

    Tracks:

    • On the Shoulders of Freaks
    • Sweet Little Blossom of Mine
    • I'll Be Your Everything
    • Drivin'
    • The Bitch Song
    • The First Time I Saw You
    • When We Were Young
    • Your Tax Dollars at Work
    • Jerkin' Around
    • What Do You Want Me To Do About It?
    • The Fight

    Henry Phillips "Number 2"


    Buy Now!

    Henry Phillips, a singer/comedian from New York has released NUMBER 2 (Oglio Records), the follow up album to, ON THE SHOULDERS OF FREAKS.

    c

    Tracks:

    • Talking Again
    • Fresh Out Of Blues
    • Mystery Girl Story Intro
    • Mystery Girl
    • Guitar Pill
    • Hey, Mr. Postman!
    • Urban Myth
    • Roomate Story Intro
    • Roommate From Hell
    • Hit In The Head By A Brick
    • Night I Fell In Love With You, The
    • What Do You Want Me To Do About It? ('99 Version)
    • Jane (Stop This Crazy Thing!)

    George W. Bush Singers – Songs in the Key of W

    Buy Now!

    LIMITED TIME OFFER: To celebrate the coming elections, order the George W Bush Singers "Songs In The Key of W" CD and get this nifty blue "Choir Member" t-shirt for FREE! The shirt was a promotional item made for the original band members and friends. It is a good quality Fruit of the Loom Heavy T-Shirt - certain to be a family treasure for years to come. Men's XL Only. Very limited supplies so order early and often!

    The statements of the President of the United States of America should be sung with great ardor! The eloquence of our Chief Executive deserves to be honored and commemorated!

    So that we might demonstrate our respect, admiration & reverence, we present to you this unbreakable record – in Stereo-rific Sound - devoted solely to making a joyful noise and celebrating the words of our 43rd President.

    Sing along with the George W. Bush Singers!

    Tracks:
    Welcome
    War In Iraq
    Deep Thoughts (Part I)
    Peeance Freeance
    4,000 Hours
    She’s An Unsticker
    Embetterment! Ingrinable!
    Nucular
    Commiserate, Not Commiserate
    In Tennessee
    Deep Thoughts (Part II)

    Liner Notes Author: George W. Bush Singers.
    Recording information: Aerie Studios, Austin, TX; Vari-Tone Sudios, No.3.
    Arranger: Steve McAllister.
    George W. Bush Singers: Stewart Cochran, Mike Irene, JJ Jones (vocals).
    Personnel: Jay Maui (guitar, steel guitar, dobro); David Gratz (tenor saxophone); Brad Avenson (trumpet); Stewart Cochran (piano, Clavinet); Craig Robinson (electric piano, organ); Kyle Schneider (drums).

    Buy Now!

    Bill Frenzer and Ogden Edsl – I’m Happy Now & More!

    "I'm Happy Now"

    Track Listing

    1. I’m Happy Now (w/Keith Johnson)
    2. Things Could Be Worse, I Could Be You (w/Keith Johnson)
    3. I Wanna Ride on Shania’s Twain (w/Keith Johnson)
    4. She’s Got A Tongue Like A Kodiak Bear (w/Keith Johnson)
    5. Lesbians On TV
    6. Mad Cow Disease
    7. I’m Your Meatman
    8. Monster In A Monster Movie (w/Bill Carey)
    9. Give It Up Gooney Bird (w/Bill Carey)
    10. The I.V.Song (w/Keith Johnson)
    11. I’m Your Meatman (Live)
    12. Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun

    BILL FRENZER AND OGDEN EDSL RETURN

    TO FULL TIME ACTION ON OGLIO RECORDS

    CLASSIC "DEAD PUPPIES" HEARD IN NEW FILM "THE GOODS"

    (Los Angeles) - Omaha's own infamous Ogden Edsl returns to full time action with the upcoming new release "I'm Happy Now" on their long standing label, Oglio Records, distributed by Fontana/Universal. Bill Frenzer re-teams with long time band mate Bill Carey to follow up on their cult favorites "Songs In The Key Of AAAAAAAARG!" and "Mower of Ogden Edsl".

    Ogden Edsl eventually became the shortened moniker for the full name, Ogden Edsl Wahalia Blues Ensemble Mondo Bizzario Band, which also featured other Omaha Nebraska radio personalities Otis Twelve (Doug Wesselmann) and Diver Dan (Jim Celer) in the band’s various incarnations throughout the years.

    Ogden Edsl's comedy classic "Dead Puppies" can also be heard in the Paramount/Vantage release of "The Goods" starring Jeremy Piven and under the auspices of Will Ferrell's production company. Long time Dr. Demento and Red Peters favorites "Dead Puppies" (co-written by fellow Omaha native Rich Thieman), "Kinko The Clown", "Daddy's Money" and "Only White People Dance Like That" are available now as iPhone ring tones from iTunes and soon to be finally available at all phone carriers.

    Check out Bill Frenzer's website at www.billfrenzer.com

    Ogden Edsl Featuring Bill Frenzer

    "Mower Of Ogden Edsl"

    Buy Now!

    American national syndicated radio personality Dr. Demento said "Here at long last is the first-ever Ogden Edsl CD with the original Dead Puppies plus the group's other huge Demented hits Kinko The Clown and Daddy's Money, and some new ones that might be Ogden Edsl's best yet, along with long available delights from two decades of inspired musical madness." This is a great comedy record. You have to hear it to believe it!

    Tracks:

    1. Daddy's Money
    2. Laughin' Blues
    3. Only White People Dance Like That
    4. Beautiful But Boring
    5. Soap Opera Love
    6. Pinecones
    7. Rap Yodeler
    8. Accidental Love
    9. They Don't Want You At The Wedding
    10. Kinko The Clown
    11. Kinko's Party
    12. You're Looking More Like Edith Piaf Every Day
    13. The Fish People Of Berodenon
    14. Dancing At The Rainbow Ball
    15. Idi Amin Meets Eydie Gorme
    16. My Face Is Covered With Hummingbirds
    17. Ugly
    18. Dead Puppies
    19. The World Is Gone
    20. Buy Now!

    Ogden Edsl Featuring Bill Frenzer

    "Songs In The Key Of AAAAAAARG!!!"

    Tracks:

    Monster In A Monster Movie
    I Wanna Ride On Shania's Train
    She's Got A Tongue Like A Kodiak Bear
    Things Could Be Worse, I Could Be You
    Lesbians On TV
    Mad Cow Disease

    • February 13, 2011
    • By Mr Oglio
    • Comments Off on Beer Tone – You’re The Best (Theme From Karate Kid)
    • in News, Oglio Records, Rock

    Beer Tone – You’re The Best (Theme From Karate Kid)

    YOU'RE THE BEST

    You're

    YOU'RE THE BEST (THEME FROM THE KARATE KID)

    Try to be best
    ‘Cause you’re only a man
    And a man’s gotta learn to take it

    Try to believe
    Though the going gets rough
    That you gotta hang tough to make it

    History repeats itself
    Try and you’ll succeed

    Never doubt that you’re the one
    And you can have your dreams!

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down

    Fight ‘til the end
    Cause your life will depend
    On the strength that you have inside you

    Ah you gotta be proud
    starin’ out in the cloud
    When the odds in the game defy you

    Try your best to win them all
    and one day time will tell
    when you’re the one that’s standing there
    you’ll reach the final bell!

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down

    Fight ‘til you drop
    never stop
    can’t give up
    Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
    you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)
    Listen to that sound
    A little bit of all you got
    Can never bring you down

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!

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